Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Blog your heart...

I have been an avid reader of Stephanie Howell's blog for a number of years. I started reading her blog to be inspired by her beautiful scrapbooking projects. I keep reading because of her inspiring posts. She has a knack for words, and tells it like it is...love that!

I have been meaning to join in with her "blog your heart" posts for the longest time. Reading back through my blog lately, you would think I'm only here to share birthday cakes, product reviews, and plus size fashion. There's so much more beneath the surface...where do I start?
I have found myself so completely distracted lately, and really tired. Usually this is a sign that my depression is starting to resurface. I recognise the signs now...and that feels good. I'm comforted by the fact that I know what is happening.  I am trying to surround myself with positive people and steer clear of the drama. I don't know what it is about this time of year! At the moment I could just curl up in a ball and sleep for a week.
My children are driving me crazy! They are either at each other's throats, or playing really loudly together. You'd think that would be a good thing...but it's the noise!! The constant noise. The running through the house. The running from bedroom to bedroom when they should be going to sleep. Car trips are a freakin' nightmare. Someone wants the arm rest down...the other one doesn't...and reverse...grrrr.  Hopefully it's just the school holidays and next week they'll be back to "normal". I don't expect perfect behaviour all the time, but it would be nice if they listened occasionally. I really feel for my hubby...he's on two weeks leave at the moment with them, and must be going out of his mind. They really need some time out by themselves...all three of them.
I cannot stop eating at the moment. I signed up for round 3 of the 12wbt, and I haven't looked at the plan once...hence why there hasn't been any weightloss posts from me in a few weeks.  Once again, this is a sign of depression returning. I just couldn't care less. We have healthy food in the house...I just don't want it. Give me hot chips, and chocolate. I hate to think how much we've spent on takeaway lately. I'm also drinking diet coke again and it bugs me no end when my hubby calls me on it. "I thought you weren't having that anymore" he says..."grrrrrrr" I grunt internally. I know it's bad for me...but it tastes so good, and I'm so over drinking just water.  I haven't exercised at all over the last month...and that's making me grumpy and sore. My lower back is constantly aching and I know it's because of the extra weight I'm carrying, and sitting on my butt all day.
My parents house went on the market today...the house they've lived in since 1971. I'm so sad about it...I love that house! It's not a mansion...just a small three bedroom weatherboard cottage...but I have so many happy memories of growing up there. It's always been my safe place, and I feel totally relaxed whenever I'm there.
On the upside...my parents are moving a short 5 minute drive away from me, which I'm really looking forward to. I haven't spent as much time as I would have liked with my parents since I moved away, and I can't wait to be able to pop in for a cuppa, or to share a midweek meal together.
I'm going to end this post on a positive. Since I've been joining in the Aussie Curves challenges, I have a much better opinion of myself and my size. My mother has always said "you've got to make the best of what you've got", and I'm a firm believer in that. It's so nice having pretty clothes to wear. I was stuck in a rut...wearing the same denim skirt over and over again. Now when I look in my wardrobe, there are choices!! I want to thank everyone for leaving so many positive comments here on the blog, and on facebook. You've really helped to make this plus size woman feel beautiful and confident.

Linking up with Stephanie Howell for "blog your heart"

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