Monday, May 28, 2012

It's time admit...I need help...

I do.
It's painful.
You dread getting dressed for work.
You hate walking out the door.
You don't embrace the day.
You do the bare minimum in public, then go back to your hiding hole at home.
It's not a life.
It's barely an existence.
It's time to get real.

Whenever I'm invited to an event, I try to put on a brave face, and dress myself up as best I can.  I've always tried to make the best of what I've got. I might not be able to wear fashionable clothing, so I dress up my outfits with fashionable accessories and colours. I try...and then a photo like this surfaces. I was mortified!  I'm so much bigger than every one else. It just reinforced that I've been lying to myself about how bad it is.  I guess in a way, I'm thankful. It's the kick up the butt I need!
Whenever I share a photo of myself, I always make sure it's taken from a high angle to eliminate my double chin. Once again, I'm not just fooling those I share the photo with, but myself. Then this was side profile in all of it's "glory". Once again...mortified.  My head looks so swollen and my features have all but disappeared. Further proof that something drastic needs to happen.

So, today, I signed up to Michelle Bridges' next round of the 12 Week Body Transformation.

I'm scared.
I'm anxious.
I'm doubtful.
I can't picture myself thin.
I don't know what the future holds.
It has to be better than what it is now.
I don't want to fear the future.
I want to embrace it.

Have you completed the 12WBT before?
What were your experiences like?

Photos taken at Brand Meets Blogger Bisolovon event
18 May 2012.

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