Things came to a head around July. I finally went back to the doctor and he changed my medication. Six months on, I feel like my head is starting to poke through the depression cloud.
Just after Christmas, I forgot to take my meds for a couple of days. The first day you forget...you feel pretty good. The second day...you start to get really frickin' agitated. By day three...you're a sobbing mess on the floor who just needs to be in the foetal position. Clearly, I still need to be on medication.
You may wonder why I'm posting this on Thankful Thursday? You see...something happened when I restarted my meds. I felt more motivated than I have in a really long time. I feel the urge to clear out all of the physical clutter in my house, and in turn, this has cleared out a lot of the mental clutter. I want to live in a tidy environment. I want to get creative again. I want to have special cuddles with my hubby. I want to play with the kids. It feels really good. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to laugh...yet, yesterday I was laughing my head off in the shower because I accidentally put conditioner under my arms instead of on my head! It was incredibly freeing.
I know I have quite a way to go, and I'm willing to keep working at it. I haven't given up. I just have to remember that it takes time.
For that I am thankful.
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