Thursday, May 26, 2011

Mum stuff | Toilet training

Urgh. I hate toilet training toddlers...and yes, at five year's old, my daughter is technically still classed as a toddler (who  We're on the last leg of the toilet training saga and it can't come soon enough.  Thank goodness I've only had to go through this with two children!

Seth was so easy...once he made up his mind that he could do it.  At 2yrs 11mths, he steadfastly refused to sit on the potty. Wouldn't even try.  I was feeling very pressured from everyone around me because all of their children had been "toilet training" for months. I felt like a complete failure as a mother. I tried reassuring myself that there are very few adults in nappies, so there was hope for him.

One day, I snapped. I yelled at him to take off the nappy and sit on the toilet (where's my mother of the year award?).  He cried. I cried. I told him he was a big boy and it was time.  He reluctantly agreed and sat on the toilet. That day we had seven accidents. Thankfully I have timber floors that are easily mopped up.  The next day we had no accidents. That was it. He was day time toilet trained. All that angst and worry I'd been experiencing for nearly a year was over.  On a side note...those parents that were "toilet training" their children for nearly a year were still dealing with one's and two's everywhere but in the loo.  The lesson I learnt from this experience was invaluable. You can lead a child to the potty, but you can't make them pee.

Right. Now that we'd committed to wearing underpants, the nappies went all together. That day, I bought some Toy Story pull-ups for Seth and convinced him they were night time undies. He felt pretty special having Buzz Lightyear on the front.  After just two weeks, he told me that his pull-ups were too big. I was confused for a second, then realised he meant bulky. He just didn't like wearing them, so he went straight into undies. I can count on one hand the number of times he's wet the bed in the last five years. That's impressive.

Eme is a completely different kettle of fish.  She wanted to toilet train at only 2.5 years. She wanted to go straight onto the big toilet like everyone else.  We had a little step there at the know the kind with the handles and the seat so that the toilet hole wasn't so big. She would climb up and down there all day, and we'd give her loads of praise. Eme toilet trained during the day really quickly.

Fast forward to today. Eme still isn't night time trained. I haven't forced the issue, but I am starting to get really worried.  The problem is, she is such a deep sleeper, she just doesn't wake up.  Eme was put into pull-ups at the same time as toilet training as well, and we have had a few spells of dry nights. We were so close last year and then she had to be admitted to hospital with asthma. It set her back big time.  For the last week, her pull-ups have been dry. We decided to not buy another pack when they ran out two days ago.

Before I went to bed on the first night, I picked her up while she was asleep and put her on the toilet, and she went.  In the morning, she woke up to a wet bed. Who knows how long she'd been sleeping in it.  The bed was stripped. Sheets were washed. Let's try again.  Last night before we went to bed, Andrew put her on the loo while she was asleep, and she went. Being the fretful mum, I took her to the loo again about an hour later, and once again she went.  This morning, her bed was dry. Hooray!

Now, I'm not fooled for a second that she is finally getting it. She has no recollection of us taking her to the toilet at all.  Which leads me to these questions that I might have to ask a professional about.  I am concerned that she's not waking up, and I'm worried that she's not emptying her bladder properly during the day.  I'll give it a little more time and will reassess.

Any advice you can give me in your toilet training experience would be greatly appreciated...before I tear my hair out!


Anonymous said...

It's been quite a while since I toilet trained my children, but I had one who wet the bed until he was about 7. I learnt that it is much more common than we hear about for bed wetting to occur up to 8 (and sometimes longer) without there being an underlying problem. It is often that they are heavy sleepers, and I found that the little tips like limiting drinks in the evening and making sure to go to the toilet before bed did help, but basically it was like the day time training: when the time's right they get there. It is extremely frustrating for both them and you as they become older and it's not sorted but believe me you do get there. Good luck, from Lynne Davey.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lisa, I can understand your frustration. My first child (daughter) was very easy to toilet train and actually was night time trained by accident (I forgot to put her nappy on one night) by the time she was 3. She is a light sleeper though and was always a bit of a cat napper. My son on the other hand was always a good sleeper and a deep sleeper. He was fine toilet trained during the day, but there was no way he could go through the night. We had tried and like Eme he would just wet the bed and not even wake up. We kept him in pullups for his comfort (and probably some laziness from me being sick of washing sheets and bedding!). It was not until he was starting school (5 1/2) that I decided that was it. We took him to the toilet before we went to bed (he would barely wake), limited drinks and everything and that seemed to work. He is now almost 7 and I still take him to the toilet every night just to be safe. However he is finally starting to wake on his own during the night and recognise that he needs to go to the toilet. I was made to feel guilty by doctors etc, saying I should try a reward chart and all the rest, but how can he be rewarded or not when he wasn't even aware what he was doing or waking up. So hang in there, it will happen as you say when they are ready. Trust your instincts as a Mum, all kids are different. I guess if it goes on for years then ther could be medical reasons but at the moment I would say she is more than normal! Jody

Leah said...

I couldn't get my daughter interested until she was 3y3m and then she trained pretty quick, and was dry at night straight off. I realised she'd not been weeing overnight for ages, just weeing in her nappy in the morning. Swings and roundabouts!

My son is 2.5 now and I am not looking forward to it again.

Good luck with the nights. I think a lot of kids still wee overnight until 7 or 8, it's not unusual at all.

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